The Mother of the Bride and Mother of the Groom Shopping Guide (From Two Cleveland Style Experts)
Hallie Abrams & Lisa Moran
I have been styling women for over 20 years, and I will be honest with you: when it came time to shop for my own Mother of the Groom dress, I knew exactly where I was going. I walked straight into Lisa Moran Ltd.
Lisa has been doing this for 35 years. She is the one stop shop in Northeast Ohio for Mother of the Bride, Mother of the Groom, all things wedding and formal wear. So when we sat down together at her shop recently, I knew this conversation needed to live somewhere beyond the walls of her store. Because every woman I talk to who is about to become a Mother of the Bride or Mother of the Groom has the same questions, the same worries, and the same panicked feeling of, where do I even start?
Between Lisa's 35 years dressing women for the biggest day of their lives and my 20+ years helping women feel great in their clothes, we have answers. So pour yourself something, take a breath, and let's walk through everything you need to know before you start shopping.
Start earlier than you think
The number one question Lisa asks every woman who walks through her door: when is the wedding?
“We can move mountains,” Lisa told me, “but we do need time to do what we do best.”
The minimum lead time is six months. That sounds like a lot, but here is what that timeline actually buys you: access to trunk shows (more on those in a minute), time for custom alterations or fabric changes, and the breathing room to make a decision you feel good about, not one you panicked into at the last minute.
If you are reading this and your child got engaged five months out, do not spiral! Call the shop. There is almost always something that can be done. But if you are reading this with a year or more on the calendar, you are exactly where you need to be.
What to bring to your first appointment
Come prepared with the answers to these questions, and you will save yourself (and your stylist) a lot of back and forth:
The wedding date and time of day. A daytime garden ceremony calls for very different dressing than a black tie evening reception.
The formality. Is it black tie? Cocktail? Garden party? Backyard casual?
What the other mother is wearing. This is huge, and we are going to talk about why in a minute.
What the bridesmaids are wearing, specifically what length. Lisa pointed out something that maybe you’ve never thought about before: if the bridesmaids are in long dresses and somebody shows up in a tea length dress, immediately that is where your eye goes during pictures. The moms do not have to match the bridesmaids, but if the bridesmaids are long, the moms should be long too.
Color preferences (or restrictions). Some brides have a palette in mind. Some do not care. Know which one you are working with.
The etiquette nobody talks about anymore
This is the part of our conversation that I think every woman shopping for a wedding needs to hear.
Traditionally, the Mother of the Bride is the next dressiest, most important woman at the wedding after the bride herself. She is, as Lisa put it, the hostess of the evening. Her dress sets the tone.
That means the Mother of the Groom should stand down a little until she knows what the Mother of the Bride is wearing.
“If the Mother of the Bride is wearing a simple black strapless dress,” Lisa said, “the Mother of the Groom should not show up in sequins.”
A lot of brides today say they do not care what the moms wear, and that is generous of them. But if you are the Mother of the Groom and you are asking me, I would still encourage you to find out what your future daughter-in-law's mom is wearing before you commit to something. Not because the dresses need to match (they absolutely should not), but because you want everyone to feel good in the pictures, and you do not want to accidentally upstage anyone.
That said, Mothers of the Groom, hear me out: you raised the man getting married. You are very important too! This is not about shrinking. It is about being thoughtful.
The “I don’t want strapless” trap
Here is something Lisa and I both see all the time: a woman walks in with a list of what she does not want. No strapless. Nothing fitted. Nothing sleeveless. Nothing showing my arms.
And then she ends up buying a strapless dress.
“Every woman hates their arms,” Lisa told me. “Most women don’t like this part of their neck. They don’t want to be pulling the dress up all night.”
Those are real concerns. But here is what most women do not realize: a properly constructed gown solves almost all of them. Expert alterations can tie a strapless dress in so it stays put. Proper internal boning can hold up a dress without you needing a bra, even up to a size 18 or 20. Sleeves can be added. Backs can be raised or lowered. A neckline you do not love on the hanger can be completely transformed.
The lesson: come in with an open mind. Try on what your stylist suggests, even if it is not what you pictured. Some of the most beautiful gowns Lisa puts women into are the ones they swore they would never wear.
The return on the bust rule
This one is my favorite, and possibly the most important thing in this entire post.
There is a moment, when you are trying on a dress, where you turn to the side and you see that curve where the fabric comes back in just under your bust. Lisa calls this the return on the bust.
That moment of definition, that little outline of your shape, is what makes a gown look beautiful on a real body. And here is what most women get wrong: they think going bigger and looser will be more flattering. It is not.
“A size 14 often comes in and thinks she can’t wear something so fitted,” Lisa explained. “You should wear something that is that fitted, so you do get the return and a little outline of tush. That’s what gives you your shape.”
This is the same philosophy I bring to every styling session. A healthy wardrobe is not about hiding your body. It is about dressing it in a way that makes you feel like yourself. The more you cover up (assuming you are not covering up for religious reasons), the more matronly the dress will read. And nobody wants to look matronly on their child's wedding day.
What a trunk show actually gets you
If you can time your shopping around a trunk show, do it.
Here is why. When Lisa buys for the store, she has to pick and choose from each designer's full line. She knows her customer, and she buys the dresses she thinks will work best. But she cannot buy every dress from every line.
A trunk show brings the entire collection into the store for a limited window. That means you get to see options that are not normally available in Cleveland, and you get to customize them: different fabric, added sleeves, lowered back, narrowed skirt, bra-friendly construction. The possibilities are enormous.
Right now Lisa has over a million dollars worth of dresses on the floor. With a trunk show, that selection multiplies.
Here is a real example. The dress I ended up choosing was originally designed sleeveless with a boat neckline. If I had seen it outside of a trunk show, I might have walked right past it. But because Lisa knew exactly what was possible, we reworked the top to be strapless, kept the silhouette I loved, and landed on something that feels like it was made for me (because it was!).
I am keeping the rest of the details under wraps for now, but stay tuned. The full dress reveal is coming!
Visit Lisa Moran Ltd.’s website to see upcoming trunk shows →
Let’s talk about budget
I know. Nobody wants to talk about budget. Lisa told me that most women say, well, if I love it, I'll get it, and resist giving a number.
But here is the truth: telling your stylist your budget is the kindest thing you can do for yourself. It means we are pulling dresses you can actually take home, not falling in love with something out of reach.
At Lisa Moran Ltd., the realistic range for a Mother of the Bride or Mother of the Groom gown is roughly $1,000 to $5,000 or $6,000, depending on how custom the alterations need to be. There is wiggle room within that. Sharing your number does not lock you in. It just helps your stylist help you.
How many appointments to plan for
Most women find their dress within one to three visits, with another two to three appointments for alterations after that. Some find it on the first try (it is magical when that happens). Some take five visits to land on the one. Both are normal.
A few more notes from Lisa on the appointment itself:
Bring whoever makes you feel good. Husband with great taste? Bring him. Sister you trust, daughter, best friend? All are welcome. One of Lisa's longtime customer groups brings champagne and makes a whole party of it.
Trust the experts in the room. Lisa and her associates have seen a lot of dresses on a lot of bodies over decades. When they suggest something, there is a reason. As Lisa puts it, when you have trust in the people who have seen multiple dresses on multiple people, that is when the magic starts to happen.
Your dress goes home at the last minute. Lisa does not release final gowns until close to the wedding date. Silk and wool pull oils from your hands, and if you are a toucher, the dress will start to look worn before the big day. We are not being mean, Lisa laughed. We are saving you from yourself.
You don’t have to figure this out alone
Whether you are shopping for your own Mother of the Bride or Mother of the Groom moment, or you are helping someone you love through theirs, please know this: it is okay to be overwhelmed. It is okay to not know where to start. It is okay to walk into a store and ask for help.
That is what Lisa is there for. That is what I am here for. And between the two of us, we have helped a lot of women feel beautiful, comfortable, and like themselves on the biggest day of their family's life.
If you are local to Northeast Ohio and ready to start your search, you can book an appointment with Lisa at Lisa Moran Ltd. And be sure to follow Lisa Moran Ltd. on Instagram where they share all trunk show information! This is one of those special moments in life where you deserve to feel great in your clothes. Both of us are here to make sure you do.
xx, Hallie